What’s next? The unsettled peace of an expat.


We’ve been in Jordan for 3 years now, living abroad for 6. It’s hard to explain, but I always have an unsettled mind and heart about where I am and what’s next. I guess it is a common mind of an expat, but I find it all consuming, whereas some are able to be at peace. I dont know what this means, this uneasy feeling, but what I do know is that it hinders my ability to feel at home. It hinders the relationships I make and the decisions I make. Should I paint a blackboard wall? Should we move to a different location? Do I buy a new washing machine? All of these decisions cant be answered easily if you dont know where you’ll be in one years time. You do your best to guess where you’ll be, but you never know for sure. I guess nothing is ever 100% certain for anyone, but surely it shouldn’t be this unsettling. I work hard at not worrying about what’s next and allowing God’s plan to unfold as He seems fit, but I need peace, if not for my sake, for the sake of my kids.

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