A rocky river

I’m thinking I may be feeling slightly like a rushing river, unable to keep up with the flow.  I’m getting swirled around and around, getting very disoriented.  The rain is getting heavier, the river rushing at a faster speed. That’s my week so far, and it’s only Wednesday.  Oh boy!

The possibility of an upcoming surgery has been confirmed. Looks like for xmas I’m getting some new and improved ureters (classy!).  I’ll be in over Christmas getting this reflux business under control so I hopefully won’t cause further scarring on my kidneys.  This has been interesting.  Every time I’ve tried calling and emailing to confirm the surgery, nobody has been getting back to me, until today.  That’s right, the day before my pre admission day of tests etc.  The day before! Thank you again Israel for your magical customer service.  It was really hard trying to prepare for a surgery that I didn’t even know I was actually going to happen. Thankfully, I have confidence in the actual surgeon!  Whilst I feel peaceful about the surgery, my teariness today may have something to do with.  I then, had to put the teariness aside (hence, the river getting faster and faster, ready to explode ), inform the kids of the upcoming events of surgery, an early Christmas ‘party’, and then mummy’s 4 day stay in hospital.  Jimmo was impressed that I’ll be where all the ambulances go.  At least someone is excited!

My other part of my teariness, oh my other part! The parent teacher interviews that we all look forward to….not really.  Well, even though I’m a teacher and know what to expect, I still get pretty tense going in.  There’s good reason why.  When you are a parent of a child with special needs, it all becomes so much more.  I know he is a genius, we generally skip over academics, it always goes straight to his ‘struggles’.  I also thought that when my kid’s teacher started to say she see’s the struggles that I see in my child, it would be a relief, but it wasn’t, in fact I almost cried in the interview.  Ever since Maxi was 2, I have had my suspicions of what was happening with him.  Some people agreed, a psychologist gave a different diagnosis, but I still thought he was experiencing difficulties in other ways the psychologist didn’t see.  I guess I’m glad his teacher is now seeing what I see in him because Maxi can get the extra help he needs.  All very important stuff, but why am I still sad? I guess no mother wants to see their kid struggle, and he does!  I’ve also been warned that he will struggle even more next year when he has a teacher with a totally different teaching style.  Oh, I hope not!

And that ladies and gentlemen are the reasons for my rushing, unstable river.  I need to go and get on my knees in prayer, then soak in a nice hot bath and enjoy some water that is calm and supportive.

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